Blight Reporter

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About Blight Reporter

  • Rank
    Ultimate Member
  • Birthday 03/01/73

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  • Gender Male
  • Location Earth - sometimes
  • Interests Keepin' it real! Playin' haters and supplying all with truth and justice. You're Welcome!

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Blight Reporter's Activity

  1. Blight Reporter added a post in a topic GH Sandwich Shop   

    Liar.
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  2. Blight Reporter added a post in a topic Mosel Wines   

    This whole subforum sounds like something Saunie does on a constant basis.
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  3. Blight Reporter added a post in a topic All notifications/ringtones are stuck on silent   

    no.
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  4. Blight Reporter added a post in a topic Complaints Against Property Values   

    Take no offense, Edge. Nothing derogatory, but you look like the Yeti trapped somewhere between the summer of 69' and the Disco era.
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  5. Blight Reporter added a post in a topic Grass Mowing   

    With Spring springing, your lawn will never be treated better.
    Special prices abound for a short time only. Ladies, call me and let me do the heavy lifting for your husband.
    Can't get out of the house? Let me come over to mow your lawn!
    I will tidy up the perimeter every time. No need to stress. Just lay back and relax. Let Blighty Landscaping do the trick.
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  6. Blight Reporter added a post in a topic Couldn't play the track you requested on Google Play Music   

    Find a 6 year old. They can fix it.
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  7. Blight Reporter added a post in a topic Needs help for Canadian business registration   

    The last time I did this it was for my Yukon Canoe and Trapping Resort and Spa I run. I did this back in 2000.
    Dave, I would suggest you call the Canadian Government of Business Affairs. They are very helpful. https://www.canada.ca/en.html
    Ask for Francois. She treated me quite well while I was in the works of getting my information prepared. I did acquire terribly infected lip sores that reminded of spending a lot of times with girls in the Phillipines. But, you aren't reading this anyway, so it doesn't matter.
    Please write another topic about useless things. It is rivoting.
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  8. Blight Reporter added a post in a topic Democrats Secretly Worked With Russia to Oppose My Dad   

    holy-moly, KAY!!!
    Sweet, Lord!!!! You are finally back from your trip to Euro-Asia. How was it?
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  9. Blight Reporter added a post in a topic Albino Squirrel!!   

    i posted the picture of the last white squirrel and it had onions, celery, quartered potatoes with rosemary and basil, and then it went missing.
    Thanks, Edge..
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  10. Blight Reporter added a post in a topic GH Sandwich Shop   

    Ate it. Good, Will be back.
    i think they need to make a hanky-panky sandwich. 2 pieces of large marble rye with the hanky-panky stuffing and a red onion with spinach. Maybe with some chiptole mayonnaise as well. BAM!
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  11. Blight Reporter added a post in a topic Whiplash   

    It actually won the "stuff" award that year.
    The Award Supervisory Committee had to deliberate all of the stuff before awarding this movie.
    Things like; Stuff it and stuff that. Look at that stuff. That stuff is neat.
    Questions were raised. Such as: What about THAT stuff? Who could even do that stuff? Was that stuff real? Who would even KNOW that stuff? What kind of stuff makes other certain kinds of stuff radder than the other stuff?
    Edling, you hit the nail on the head of that stuff.
     
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  12. Blight Reporter added a post in a topic Harvest Fest This Sarurday   

    I was fortunate to have been able to attend this year's event. Just some feedback for future Harvest Fests.
    1) For the Fire Department's fundraising efforts I dressed up like a fire hydrant. I then took my place as a parade volunteer to keep the pooches and people on the path for the parade. I was used as a potty throughout the entire parade. I didn't win, and a little girl named, Sally F., called me smelly and it hurt my feelings.
    2) I was harassed by a straw-man that was placed at a booth. The damn thing wouldn't stop staring at me.
    3) The apple pie I tasted was pretty good. But, it looked like it had been torn to pieces from the middle out.
    4) Tommy J. and little Billy H. beat me badly in laser tag. It was very disappointing that they didn't even pull the trigger. Rather, they allowed their Rottweiler to attack me viciously and once on the ground they pummeled me with their guns. Try pulling the trigger a couple of times first at least.
    Overall, it was a good time.
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  13. Blight Reporter added a topic in Local Events   

    All you can eat at McD's tonight
    This weekend:
    McD's is having an "All you can eat" gala event. Rhonda and Dakota will be there tonight for dinner. Please have $25.00 cash-ready at the door.
    The line starts promptly at 7:30pm each night.
    Last year raised over $750.00. It was amazing time. By the end of the night all was exhausted.
    Hope to see everyone there.
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  14. Blight Reporter added a post in a topic Shooting on Chalmers   

    Last evening at 11:06pm would have been May 31st.
    That's what that guy gets when he poses as an aficionado of herbs and delivers Rosemary "out of season".
    Anywho, after interviewing him at the hospital he told me that that was his last day on the job as he was going to retire and kick-back in his 5.0. Mr. Johnson also stated that he was taking advantage of his indoor victory garden that he and some of his closest friends built and tended to together.
    In other news, Flight Recorder was found curled up in his bed licking his feather pillow chanting over and over again, "If only I could pet the pretty boys." 
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  15. Blight Reporter added a post in a topic Blighty's Daily Post of Thoughts   

    I just got off the boat at the pay lake behind McD's Pub. What a view!
    I noticed something out of the corner of my eye after pulling the inboard motor off my canoe. Paula and Crow were hanging out under an umbrella relaxing. They were a very large Long Island Iced Tea. It even had one of those paper umbrellas in it! I had no idea McD's had such a thing.
    Once I had placed my motor in the back of my 1973 Gremlin hatchback I walked over to the ladies. Well, it really wasn't a walk - more like my everyday strut that turns the ladies into mush. They had it coming. totally dissed I was by the ladies that they chose their Belair cigarettes and Mott the Hoople Pandora Station over me I wandered into the Pub for a cold Hamns.
    They have COMPLETELY renovated the place. Now, I hadn't been there in several weeks, but the work they did was pretty amazing! No more bubble gum under the tables. No more elbow stains on the edge of the bar. They added a brass leg bar across the bottom of the bar. The bartender, whom I didn't recognize until she turned and bent over to get me my cold Hamns, was more dressed up than usual.
    I said, "What in the #$%@ is going with this place!"
    She replied, "We've revamped the place to get more of the middle class Northbrook residents to start coming in."
    Just then, two hipsters came in. I couldn't believe my eyes. One of the gentleman was wearing a vintage Tupac shirt and a fitted cap that just didn't seem to fit right on his head because it was rotated and did not fit snuggly on top of his head. He must have just bought the hat because it still the sticker on the brim and the tag "of authenticity" still attached. The other gentlemen must have been a landscaper or something because he had a horticulture shirt on - it displayed some type of leaf on it. He smelled a bit weird when he walked by me. He must have just came from work. Who knows.
    They both ordered a shot of Hennessey and a Stella Artois. Very nice choices - I toast you!
    Talking to the bartender, often referred to by other regulars as "Serta", I asked, "Well, it looks like the renovation worked." Just then a noise came over the bar. It was loud poetry. The singer must have had a bad experience with the police and decided to write a poem about it. The singer must have also had multiple run-ins with his multitude of simultaneous relationships that his wife knew nothing about. The singer must like Mercedes and champagne as well. Rivoting music.
    The two gentlemen drank their drinks very quickly and headed out. t must have been because they were going to visit a loved one and stopped in to discuss business. McD's is known for people getting together during the day and talk business.
    I told Serta I had caught no fish on the lake in the morning. She didn't seem to care as she walked away pointing to the ceiling with one of her fingers. Maybe I really was number one in her book.
    The ladies came in after about 30 minutes and enjoyed another Long Island Iced Tea. OF course, Crow waits for no one. She just went behind the bar and helped herself. McD's is a crazy place like that.
    Well, my story ends on a positive note as I am glad to tell you that after leaving the bar and heading out to my car to go home a Colerain township Police officer had apparently not let those two gentlemen leave the premise. One gentlemen was face down on the hood of the cruiser and the other was laying face down on the ground. Both were probably innocent of any wrongdoing as one of them told the officer politely that (whatever was the on the hood of the police car) it didn't belong to him. As the other gentlemen laid flat on the ground an officer was helping him up and telling him that he was going back to HQ. I thought HQ went out of business nearly two decades ago. What do I know?
    When I drove away from McD's I pondered back on the years I had been a client of theirs. I became fixated on all the memories that came to the surface of my recollection. The wind coming through the windows. The sun is sharp right now as clouds roll by. I always thought that life could make people smile in ways that keep their own existence free of personal attacks, mean-spirited political debates, and religious confrontations. I turned past Joey's Bar and the last thing that ran through my head before I took a bite out of my bologna sandwich was, "I wonder if Crow and Paula are going to have sex later today after they get intoxicated with those Long Island Iced Teas." Life is Good.
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